


Sirius says Sorry

by shutupeccles



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Fluff and Angst, M/M, Marauders' Era
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-01-04
Updated: 2012-01-04
Packaged: 2017-11-04 09:56:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,310
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/392550
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shutupeccles/pseuds/shutupeccles
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sirius is sorry for shoving Snape into the Shrieking Shack, thereby upsetting Remus. Remus is sorry he can’t trust Sirius anymore. Contains 55% tiff 45% fluff</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sirius says Sorry

Remus sat cross-legged at the head of his bed at Hogwarts after kicking his pillow to the floor, and stared blankly out the window. Sirius stood at the foot of the same bed, staring worriedly at Remus’ back.

“Remus? Speak to me, please,” Sirius pleaded. Sirius Black by a rule did not plead, but Remus hadn’t said a word or acknowledged his existence during the walk from the infirmary. Sirius had both hands in the back pockets of Muggle jeans he'd borrowed from James, knuckles digging against his bum as blunt fingernails scratched the inside of each pocket.

Remus heard the scrape of nail over each ridge of blue denim as clearly as he heard mournful panic in Sirius’ voice. He’d only recovered from the unnatural change a few hours ago. His physical aspect appeared entirely human but fury, fear, disappointment and a feeling of betrayal prevented his heart rate returning to normal, which meant other instincts lingered. His senses had yet to return to normal. He could smell Sirius’ regret.

“Why would you use me like that Sirius?” Remus asked in a frequency too low for Sirius to hear when he wasn’t Padfoot. He repeated the question in a higher pitch.

“I didn’t use you. I love you…”

“Quite an unconventional way of showing it, even in the noble house of Black. People normally take their loved one out for dinner rather than bring a live meal to them.”

“He figured it all out and was going to tell everyone…”

“Severus was going to make it known you’ve been humping a werewolf so you decided to introduce him to your boyfriend properly,” Remus said calmly. “I WOULD HAVE KILLED HIM, SIRIUS!” He saw the reflection of Sirius hang its head. “Did you bother to think, for a sliver of a moment, how that would affect me for THE REST of my LIFE? Knowing I’d killed a classmate… It doesn’t matter that he hates me, hates us all. Why shouldn’t he? But you Sirius, your actions revealed me for the monster he thinks I am!” Remus looked down at his hands and made a cat’s cradle of light appear between them. He bent the insubstantial strings using fingers and thumbs while continuing in a quieter voice. “The monster I truly am.” Remus shook his hands and the illusionary string puzzle disappeared.

“You’re not a monster,” Sirius said with slow deliberation.

The scent of regret was replaced by indignation. Remus added to it. “Some freak show entertainment for you to get your danger-seeking jollies from. _Dear diary, today I was sodomised by a werewolf. What a lark!_ Great story to tell your kiddies Sirius, you disgust me.”

“It was never a lark! I love you Remus, with all my heart, body, and soul. I acted rashly but I was furious at the way he treats you, sneers at you like you’re a lesser being – some half-breed between man and animal.”

“I am a lesser being. I shouldn’t venture into polite society, let alone wield a wand. I’m not human.”

“Yes, you are,” Sirius said with equal stubborn determination.

“You would never have done something like that to Prongs or Wormtail so don’t bother starting with that ‘You’re one of us’ manure.”

They stood and sat in hurt and angry silence. Remus could smell tears welling in Sirius’ eyes.

“Tell me how to fix this Remus, and I will. Anything,” Sirius declared hoarsely.

“Go back in time and tell yourself not to be a fuck-knuckle, Sirius.” The unusually harsh word made Sirius step back. “Preventing this is the only way I can think of to make it right.”

“I’ll just nick off to the Ministry of Magic, discover where they keep the time-turners, nab one and wha-hae, all set.” Sirius clapped his hands together. “Think you can cover for me?”

Remus didn’t react.

Sirius slowly moved to the side of the bed and reached toward Remus. Remus shrugged him off but Sirius didn’t move away. “I love you…”

“Stop saying that!”

“I’ll stop saying it when it’s no longer true Remus, but not before!” Sirius barked angrily and left the room.

Remus stayed on the bed, trying to regain control of his breathing, heartbeat and hopefully emotions. Sirius’ parting comment sounded sincere but Remus wasn’t quite prepared to relinquish his doubts that their relationship was merely another of rebellious Black’s adventures.

Plus he had to be calm in order to apologise to Lily for almost mauling her best friend.

*~~~*

Lily’s eyes were like green ice crystals, sharp and cold to match her body language. Both arms were folded across her chest, one hip higher than the other, and a frown of disbelief adorned her face. “You expect me to believe that rubbish, do you? I don’t know why you marauders hate Sev so much. You’re so alike. You even tell the same silly stories.”

“Why would I make up something like this?” Remus asked, incredulous.

“Black heard Sev confiding his suspicions and decided to teach him a lesson. Well, well done you. I’m disappointed Remus. I thought you were the one marauder who wasn’t a complete tit!”

“I wasn’t in on it. It was Sirius…”

Lily’s frown became less severe and her shoulders less indignant. “You don’t normally dob in your boyfriend.”

“We’re not…he’s…”

Lily snorted and unfolded her arms. “Please don’t further insult my intelligence. Sev’s definitely right about that because I told him. You and Black may as well be doing it in the common room. All those subtle touches,” Lily teased while placing her fingers on his arm, “and poorly disguised lustful looks. The way you pass each other dishes at meal times – you’re so domestic.”

“We’re not…”

“Married!” Lily interjected with absolute cheek. “You are, truly. What can be more romantic than best friends in love?”

“You and Severus?” Remus was less surprised than he sounded, until Lily glowered.

“Not with those Death Eater ‘friends’ he hangs around. I’m trying to get him re-sorted into Gryffindor or even Ravenclaw. Then, maybe, I’d consider asking him out.”

“Severus Snape?” It seemed more ridiculous the more Remus thought about it.

“He’s less of a toerag than Sirius Black!”

Remus immediately came to Sirius’ defence and Lily laughed.

“Got you.”

Remus let Lily have her moment of triumph. Once she finished revelling in that level of smugness only females could achieve, Lily redirected their conversation to the original topic. “So, Big-head Potter actually saved Sev’s life?”

*~~~*

He skipped dinner and went to bed early. His pillow had been defaced with butterscotch.

_I’m still sorry  
I love you  ♥ _

Sirius must have dipped his finger in the love heart, or simply drawn it wonky. Remus used the home-made chocolate sauce his mother sent to add ‘too’ then left the pillow on Sirius’ bed.

*~~~*

A warm familiar body joined Remus in his dormitory bed and silently cuddled him. He could feel as well as hear the change in his boyfriend’s breathing as Sirius fell asleep.

*~~~*

Peter exclaimed that he’d had a brilliant sleep since this was the first time in days that Sirius didn’t wake up screaming during the night. He exclaimed louder when he discovered Sirius’ bed was empty. “He’s killed himself from guilt!”

“Shut it Petie,” James grumbled. “He’s with you know who.”

“Sirius joined the Death Eaters?!” Peter asked in panic.

“No, you great plimpy,” Frank Longbottom groaned impatiently. “He’s been using He-who-got-out-of-the-infirmary-yesterday as a cuddly toy. Good to have you back Remus.”

“Thanks Frank.”

“Anything you’d like to tell us? Make it official?”

“No thanks Frank.”

“Righto. As it’s Saturday and Quidditch bores me, I’m sleeping in. Wake me up for lunch.”

“Righto Frank,” the marauders chorused.

“So I’m forgiven then?” Sirius whispered against Remus as he snuggled closer.

“Not entirely,” Remus kissed Sirius’ hand and wrapped his boyfriend’s arm tighter across his chest, “but almost.”

 

crossposted to  [ ](http://remusxsirius.livejournal.com/profile) [ **remusxsirius** ](http://remusxsirius.livejournal.com/)


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